3 Stress-Reducing Strategies to Improve Problem Solving

When things don’t go the way we want, it’s easy to get stressed out. Whether you’re tackling a difficult task, managing an upset customer, or teaching your child good table manners, taking a moment to notice your thoughts can support calmer problem solving.

What should you do first? Catch your thoughts.

When your thoughts add to your stress

I promised to proofread a sixty-page manuscript for my husband. He wanted to send it out by the end of the day. I figured it would take me about an hour. What was I thinking?

After an hour, I was only halfway through. Impatient, I was thinking of all the other things I wanted to do. My chest tightened. “Breathe, Marilyn,” I coached myself. Ahh, a moment of relief.

But a minute later, the tension was back. With every paragraph, I found myself thinking, “This is taking too long. I have other things I want to do. I want this to be over.” My mind wouldn’t stop reminding me.

A memory popped into my head from my college days. Back then, I had a part-time job as a computer counselor. I assisted students with finding and fixing errors in their programming code. I was known as someone who could find even the most hidden programming bug.

But when I had a tough bug in my own code, I sometimes couldn’t find it for the life of me. I’d seek out someone else to take a look.

Look at the challenge from another perspective

One night around midnight, I got stuck in the computer lab and couldn’t find a soul to ask. Not knowing what else to do, I sat down at my counseling desk and looked at the code as if it belonged to somebody else.

All of a sudden, the error popped out at me. I solved the problem.

“That was weird,” I thought. From then on, when I got stuck, I’d try looking at the problem as if it were someone else’s. That change in perspective often made the solution easier to see.

Our thoughts can have something in common with computer code: they can get caught in a loop.

The more I noticed my thoughts and how I felt while thinking them, the more I recognized when my mental programming needed an update. Can you relate?

“Is it possible to change how I’m thinking about proofreading this manuscript?” I asked myself.

I knew it was possible. Why, then, was my first response, “No. Leave me alone. I want to be miserable about this”?

It was a little shocking to notice that reaction. Part of me was complaining, and another part was noticing the complaint. That pause gave me a choice.

Was I willing to finish proofreading? Or did I need to renegotiate my commitment so I could get to the other things on my list?

Accept the task you choose

I chose to finish proofreading and accept the time it would take. I looked at the clock and told myself, “For the next hour, this is what I’ll be doing.”

Again, I felt resistance. Accepting the task meant giving up an hour of complaining about it. It also meant setting aside other things I wanted to do.

So I made the experiment smaller. I decided to accept the next ten minutes of proofreading.

What a feeling of relief. I even started enjoying the words I was reading.

I’d love to say I finished the manuscript completely free of stress. Almost. Tension still crept in, but noticing my thoughts gave me a chance to redirect my attention and relax again.

Accepting a task doesn’t mean you must agree to every request or ignore an unreasonable workload. In this situation, it meant making a conscious choice about a commitment I had already made.

Three strategies to reduce stress and improve problem solving

1. Notice where you’re holding tension

Is your breathing shallow? Are your shoulders tight, your jaw clenched, or your brow furrowed?

Pause and take a few slow, comfortable breaths. Let your shoulders drop. Unclench your jaw. Notice whether you can soften the areas where you’re holding tension.

You don’t have to eliminate every bit of stress before taking your next step. Give yourself a moment to pause before reacting.

2. Consider what you would tell someone else

When you’re stuck, ask yourself, “What would I suggest to someone else facing this same problem?”

Looking at a challenge from another person’s perspective can make options easier to see. You might suggest asking for clarification, breaking a task into smaller steps, taking a short break, or renegotiating a deadline.

Think about an upset customer. If a coworker were handling the conversation, you might suggest listening first, acknowledging the frustration, and clarifying what can happen next. Can you give yourself the same practical guidance?

Imagine what might change if you started taking your own advice.

3. Referee your thoughts

Some thoughts are useful. Others keep us circling the same frustration without moving toward a solution.

Start noticing the words you repeat to yourself. “This shouldn’t be happening” might express how you feel, but it doesn’t tell you what to do next. Try asking, “Given what’s happening, what can I do now?”

The goal isn’t to pretend everything is fine. It’s to choose a thought that makes your next useful action clearer.

During a workshop, I asked participants to identify a recurring, self-limiting thought. Their examples included, “I’m too old to start a new career,” “I’ll never be my ideal body weight,” and “When my child does poorly on a test, I feel like I’m the one who failed.”

Then I asked, “If I could clap my hands and make that thought disappear, would you want me to?”

Several people admitted to a moment of doubt. One participant said, “If I stopped thinking that thought, then I’d really have to start doing something to become more financially fit.”

Her next comment was, “Wow, that’s an eye-opener!”

Choose one thought to reconsider today

What self-limiting thought have you been treating as a fact? Does it point you toward a useful action, or keep you stuck?

You don’t have to force yourself to believe the opposite. Try a more workable thought. Instead of “I can’t handle this,” ask, “What is one step I can take?” Instead of “I have to finish everything,” ask, “What needs my attention first?”

For today, practice noticing your thoughts, considering another perspective, and choosing your next step with intention.

Have you tried these strategies? Share what works for you in the comments below.

Marilyn Suttle is a customer service and employee wellbeing speaker, trainer, and bestselling author. She works with organizations that want to stand out as the business of choice and with teams that want to work well together.